Molly Frances- 1 month old

Molly is 1 month old!  That means we survived a whole month as a family of five!  I am not going to lie, it has been tough at times.  I have had major mom guilt for not being able to devote as much attention to the big kids.  It has been especially tough on Katelyn. She loves Molly very much, but she has always been my little side kick.  It is hard for her to understand when I can't drop what I am doing to pay attention to her.  I have tried to give her some special one on one time when I can  such as painting her finger nails, and taking her to dance every Friday, but it's hard.  I also feel like when I try to spend "quality time" with the kids I end up yelling at them the whole time instead because they won't listen or they are constantly picking on each other.  Also, the post partum emotions didn't help.  I was super emotional for a couple of weeks, which seems to be a taboo topic that no one likes to talk about.  But in discussions with other moms- I know I am not alone.

But, I am happy to say that I feel like we are turning a corner.  I am feeling more like myself again.  I took the kids to school the other day. It felt good to get out of the house and see my mom friends even if it was just for 5 minutes at drop off.  As nice as it is to just lounge while the baby is sleeping sometimes, I find that I feel much better if I just get up, take a shower, get dressed, and go about my day.  The other factor in my struggles is our current house situation.  I really hate our rental house.  I know I shouldn't complain, because we are so blessed to be able to build another beautiful home, but living in this tiny house with no yard to play in and no space is hard.  I feel like the walls are closing in on me when everyone is home for more than like an hour.  I am praying for patience, and trying to be thankful for what we have, but it definitely adds to my stress level.

Let's talk about our sweet Molly girl! She is just the sweetest thing. We moved her to her crib the other night, and she is doing great sleeping in her room.  It is a little harder for me, because instead of just scooping her up and feeding her in bed, I have to get up and go in her room, but I didn't want her to get too used to sleeping in the rock and play and have a hard transition to the crib.  She seems to be getting the whole bedtime routine and has been going down really easily (a major improvement from the first couple weeks when it would take hours to get her to go to sleep), so I hope it stays that way!  I usually feed her anywhere between 7 and 8, swaddle her, and she comes and hangs out with us in the living room after Brady and Katelyn go to bed.  She is usually awake for 30 minutes- an hour, but very content just being held. I always want to remember this time as she just looks up at me with her sweet little eyes, sucking on her paci.  I know I will miss these snuggles down the road.  She then falls asleep, and I gently change her diaper and feed her between 10-11 and put her down for the night.  She usually wakes up again between 2 and 3.  I change her, feed her, and put her back down.  Then she is up again anywhere between 5:30-7. During the day she still sleeps a lot.  I feed her every 3 hours.  She will be awake for 30 minutes or so then usually dose off again.  Sometimes I just sit and hold her while she sleeps, because she is not content with anything else.  Other times we just alternate between the swing, the rock and play, and the crib.  We have just started to do a little play time on her play mat.  She is starting to focus on things and seems to enjoy it, but only in small doses.

She is the happiest in the morning, and usually just hangs out while I get the kids ready for school.  They both love to see her in the morning, and she seems to really love them too.  She is usually pretty happy, but gets fussy sometimes in the afternoons.  It is usually due to gas :(.  She loves to be held, her paci, being swaddled, her bath (as long as she is not hungry), nursing, and riding in the Baby Bjorn carrier.  She dislikes- her car seat/riding in the car, being put down if she is asleep in my arms, her bouncey seat (both of the others loved it, so hopefully that will change), and getting out of the bath.

She is wearing size 1 diapers (could probably still wear newborn, but we ran out) and size newborn clothes/ some 0-3 that run small.  I am not sure about her weight, because we don't go back to the doctor until 2 months, but I think she is smaller than Katelyn was at this age.  Katelyn was a big baby!

She is the perfect addition to our family, and is so very loved!