Going from 2 to 3

I think about this a lot- when we should have another baby.  No, I am not pregnant, and we are not trying.  I always said I wanted 2 OR 3 children, and Paul has always been stuck on 3; that is until we actually had the second child and he started thinking maybe 2 was a good number ;).  I was kind of the opposite, after we had Katelyn I thought I would just be content.  No more thoughts of babies, just settle in as a family of four.  But, for whatever reason my mind never really got off of wanting another baby. 

Part of me feels like I should just feel so blessed that we have 2 perfect, adorable, healthy children.  And I do feel incredibly blessed.  I thought if the second was another boy I would probably want to have a third to see if we might have a girl.  If we had a girl, I thought I would be content with 2 children- a boy and a girl- how perfect, right?  Well even though we have a boy and a girl now, I just feel like our family is not totally complete.  When I watch Brady and Katelyn playing, I can always invision another little person down there.  I see Katelyn being such a great big sister.  I want to experience pregnancy and the miracle of giving birth one more time.  I am still so young, and I just feel like that chapter of my life is not over yet.

I'm not ready to go there quite yet, but I don't want to wait too long either.  Part of me wants to wait a while simply because this will probably be my last pregnancy, and I know it will fly by so quickly.  I want to savor every moment of it.  I am also enjoying having a little bit of freedom back right now.  Katelyn is old enough for me to feel comfortable leaving her for longer periods of time with our parents or a babysitter.  They are getting to the age where they play together and can entertain each other.  There are no more bottles in our house.  All kids are in bed by 7-7:30.  All these things are so nice and make me question whether I am ready to go back to square one just yet.  Then another part of me thinks why wait?  We are already doing diapers, catering to their every need, getting them dressed, putting on shoes, the crib is still out- it seems to me it would be harder to go back to having a newborn once all these phases are over.  Plus, I want them to all be close in age so they are interested in the same activities and will all play together.

I also worry about how the dynamics will change going from 2-3.  I mean at that point we are out numbered- that's a little scary. I also don't want one child to feel left out. Will two of them be buddy, buddy and the other kind of feel like the 3rd wheel?  I don't know how that works in a family of 3, because it was just me and my brother.  We were always so tight and still are.  I want all my children to feel that way with each other.

I had different fears with going from 1-2 and you know what it all worked out.  We all adapted.  I can't imagine life without Katelyn.  I am just going to lean on God to guide me through this decision.  He has a plan for me and our family. Anybody have words of wisdom on what it was like growing up with 2 other siblings or how things changed going from 2-3?